Beddict’s Disgraces and Delights: Bold Predictions Straight From the Voice of...
Can you feel the electricity in the air? I know what you're thinking-- Mom/wifey has yet to learn her lesson and attempted to deploy her plug-in vibrator in the Jacuzzi again. (When will they ever...
View ArticleRazzball Rankings Versus Yahoo
We are here today to point out the differences between the Razzball rankings and those that Yahoo has released to the masses. (Not to be confused with Yoohoo, which I do all the time. Then again, I...
View ArticleWaiver Wired, Week One: Carson Palmer and the Preseason Pickups
As we open the season, all of our NFL teams have the same goal— to play in Super Bowl XLIX in Glendale, Arizona on February 1. Our fantasy teams have the same goal— to play in our respective league’s...
View ArticleHandcuff Report, Week One: The 2014 Primer
Welcome to the Handcuff Report, 2014 primer. The Almighty J-FOH has bestowed upon me the honor of keeping you knuckleheads up to date on the latest NFL arrests, felonies, and misdemeanors. If Steven...
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Tony Romo: Interception Savant
An artist's depiction of yesterday's Cowboys game. I've come to the conclusion that the first every Sunday of football should always have the Dallas Cowboys doing whatever that was they did yesterday...
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We Are All on the Oregon Trail of Fantasy Football, Let’s See What Happens
To be honest, I'm not really sure what to do with myself right now. As I'm writing today's recap (which will be yesterday's recap when you read this), I find myself essentially writing my first ever...
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Week 3 Early Games: Remember That One Time When Everyone Was Injured?
"When was that?" Well, you should remember, as it was only last week where 97% of the all ACL's in the NFL collectively exploded. I'm no doctor, so I had no idea that modern medicine was able to take...
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Every Fantasy Player You Own is Either Injured or Doing Poorly
So, if you don't know what to make of this year so far, join my club. I just started it, but looking at the numbers... yes, it appears the entire Earth is already a member. There are so many...
View ArticleWaiver Wired, Week 4: Donald Brown is the New Powder Blue
As if the injuries weren’t bad enough, now we get to add in bye weeks to the train wreck known as Fantasy Football in 2014. This week, you’re missing Arizona, St. Louis, Seattle, Denver, Cleveland and...
View ArticleAmbulance Chasers, Week 4: Sorry to Break Up the Pitta Party
Fantasy football ain't for the faint of heart. This is real sh*t right here. Injuries happen. You can't avoid them. I can't remember the last time I owned a fantasy team, in any sport, that didn't...
View ArticleHandcuff Report, Week 4: Starters? We Don’t Need No Stinking Starters!
I've come to a conclusion about my draft strategy for next year. I'm not drafting any starting running backs. Nope! Only handcuffs in the later rounds for me. I won't be fooled by you starting running...
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Week 4 Early Games: There Will Be Blood
“I want to make sure that whatever team I go to, they’re going to get the best, in-shape 35-year-old guy they can get. If that happens to run through Bank of America Stadium, put your goggles on cause...
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Imagine: Someone from the NFC South will Make the Playoffs
We're in this together! I know, I'm asking a lot of you. After capping off the day of football with the Sunday Night Game, it soon dawned upon me how scary it is that this division will, at some...
View ArticleAmbulance Chasers, Week 5: Foster’s Freeze
We should all consider Week 4 a success. We escaped the quarter-season mark with nary a single catastrophic injury. I'm sure I just jinxed us, but in the NFL, if you can play out an entire week's...
View ArticleHandcuff Report, Week 5: The Walls Of Jerick-O
I'm pinching myself right now, because I'm pretty sure we went an entire week without a running back of note getting injured, arrested, or abducted by Martians. BTW, always remember to capitalize...
View ArticleStart ‘em and Sit ‘em, Week 5: Davis’ Cup Runneth Over
"Start 'em and Sit 'em" was on hiatus last week as I made my way to Boston to catch Derek Jeter's farewell game on Sunday. Things went well. Some random dude gave us a free parking pass when we were...
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Week 5 Early Games: Questionabletron
The latest reports coming out of Detroit are expressing caution... ever since the mayor signed a deal with the mega-corportaion Omni Consumer Products (OCP) to run and control the underfunded police...
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Matt Prater Will Have a Couple of Voicemail Messages Waiting for Him Today
In a thrilling day of footballing, there were nine games decided by a touchdown or less, three games decided by a field goal or less, and two overtime victories. It was enough to make some teams...
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J.J. WUT
J.J. Watt has more fantasy points than LeSean McCoy. I just thought I would share that with you fine folks out there. With that being said, I also want to establish that we witnessed the first...
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The Stats Machine, Week 7: The Stats In The Hat
"The sun did not shine, it was too wet to play. So we sat in the house, and made it a Stats Machine day..." With six weeks in the books, I think it's time to start analyzing what the Stats Machine...
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